One girl and one boy is just not enough.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
