I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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