Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
