3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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