dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
