pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
