there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
