Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
