I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
