we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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