your room smells of hookers.
And success
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
this hospital has no fireball
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize