So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
