I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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