Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
