Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
