i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
