Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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