Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
