They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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