you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I believe in your delicious
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
