You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
