why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
