I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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