Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
