I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
