you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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