im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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