Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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