I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you traded sex for a burrito?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
