Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
