fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
