my soul wont recognize me after tonight
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
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