just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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