But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
