I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
