Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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