i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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