After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
