You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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