At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Two words: blizzard sex
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
