I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Randomize
