he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
