yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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