Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
