i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
