I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
