this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
