When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
