I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
