I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
