you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
