i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
