Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
