Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
