quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
