Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
