White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
