Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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