He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
