Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
