He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
