I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
