Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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