I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
