I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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